Passing: The Dreaded Shoulder-To-Hip Ratio

Passing is unfortunately very difficult. For a lot of us, myself included, completely passing is impossible without HRT and/or other permanent changes and it is a bitter pill to swallow. There are just so many things that give us away, some major, some minor, some that you can address, some that you can hide and some that you can’t do anything about. However we can always do our best. My goal with this series is not to discourage or imply that certain traits are more correctly feminine than others, but to simply state what I find to be the most helpful with it comes to working towards that goal of passing.

A Very Lengthy Overview

Quick warning. Some of the images used to demonstrate covered techniques, while purely for educational purposes, may be questionable for workplace viewing. If you’re at work, err on the side of caution and get back to work :p

      Aside from facial features, the feature that I feel (hard emphasis on my feelings) gives away that someone is a crossdresser the most is shoulder width, specifically shoulder-to-hip ratio. People who are assigned male at birth, generally tend to have wider appearing shoulders than people who are assigned female at birth. Before you yell at me, this and all the statements I’m going to make here are generalizations. I really struggled on how I wanted to approach this topic, because I didn’t want to come off as if I was implying that females with broad shoulders and narrow hips aren’t feminine or that if you have broad shoulders that you’ll never pass. Everyone has their own thoughts on what a feminine figure looks like, this just happens to be my opinion based on what I’ve observed. You are more than welcome to tell me to go pound sand if you disagree. However, as I am just someone pretending to be a girl, I’ll take all the advantages I can get when attempting to pass. With disclaimers out of the way, there are generally a couple of overall female body type categories. Five of the most common ones are shown below.

      A shoulder-to-hip ratio of >=1.0 with a distinctively narrower waist (hourglass and pear shape) are (again in my opinion) more “favorably” feminine when trying to pass than body types with a shoulder-to-hip ratio of <1.0 (round and inverted triangle). Unfortunately for most crossdressers, anatomically, we will tend to have broader shoulders and narrower hips that fall into one of the latter three categories from the picture above. For example, my body type falls somewhere in between a rectangle and an inverted triangle while my ideal goal is an hourglass body type. The unfortunate truth is that without major medical modifications, I will never reach that body type so our goal needs to shift to just visually getting as close as possible. To achieve this illusion, we need to either make our shoulders appear narrower or make our hips appear wider. While both are important, I would focus more on the latter because not only are there more options, but it has the added benefit of making your waist look narrower by comparison as well. Below are my tips for achieving this¹. As always, if you want a quicker read, there is a TLDR at the bottom.

Working Out and Eating Right

      I am going to knock this one out really quick. Obviously one way of achieving wider hips is to literally just make them wider by working out the glutes and quads. I’m not a fitness expert, so I’m not going to try to give any substantial advice here, but for me personally, the mass majority of my workouts focus on my legs, butts and stomach. I also tend to avoid any exercises that workout my shoulders. If you have more of a round or apple body shape, try to focus on slimming down that midsection. This is obviously easier said than done, but a thinner waist will make your hips look wider by contrast.

      Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of Chloe Ting’s workouts as I can do them from home, they’re free and they generally focus on the areas I’m interested in. You don’t need me to tell you to workout and eat right, just do it.

Clothing

      Clothing choice is probably the easiest and one of the most impactful factors here. What you wear makes a huge difference in complementing (or exacerbating) your body type. The overall goal here is to accentuate and draw attention to your hips while avoiding drawing attention to your shoulders. While there are multiple ways of achieving this, your options will be limited by the event you’re wearing it to, what look you’re going for, what style’s you’re comfortable with, etc. In general, I try to leverage as many of these techniques below as possible when going for that hourglass shape.

Colors

      Lighter, more colorful colors will draw attention to an area. As our goal is to draw attention to the hips, try to wear colorful and brighter items for your bottom. Darker colors, on the other hand, will have the opposite effect. For example, I would generally avoid wearing tight black shorts as it tends to further narrow your hip.

      For shoulders, we want to do the exact opposite. Draw attention away from the shoulders by wearing a darker colored top while avoiding tops with lighter, more colorful and patterned areas around the shoulder. This does not mean your entire top has to be dark colored. Shirts with darker colored sleeves contrasted with a lighter colored center also work as the focus is on the center of your body with the darker sleeves blending the exact edges of your shoulder. If you scroll through my Instagram, you’ll see that a vast majority of my pictures feature a black top for this very reason (also because I love the color black).

      I’m definitely not saying you can’t wear a plain white top with black bottoms, just be aware of the effect it will have and try to counteract it with other techniques.

Patterns

      Very similar to colors. To draw attention to an area, use ornate, flowery, more complex patterns. Avoid these for your tops by looking for simple, plain, muted designs, while leveraging those flowery, eye-catching designs for your bottoms. Also avoid horizontal lines for your tops but do use them for bottoms as it has a widening effect.

Style

Tops

      Sleeves may be the single most important factor when it comes to top. I don’t usually like throwing out absolutes, but this is one that I always stick with. Do not wear tops that have extra material on the sleeves directly around the shoulder as they really accentuate the width of your shoulders. This includes puff sleeves, juliet sleeves or anything with padded shoulders. Save from a very puffy dress (e.g., Lolita style), it will be very difficult to balance out these sleeve types. Instead look for tops with a drop bishop, bell or kimono sleeves that widen towards the wrist to give the illusion of a narrower shoulder by adding volume away from the shoulders. Dolman sleeve tops (i.e., batwing sleeves) are also very good choices. Finally, a raglan sleeve top (i.e., baseball tee) coupled with a darker sleeve color as described in the previous section would slim the shoulders as well. Weather permitting, I also prefer long looser sleeves over short sleeves, especially oversized ones that cover parts of my hand².

      Try to incorporate tops with deep V-neck or scoop necklines which will draw eyes away from the shoulder down towards whatever the V-neck is pointing to. Pair this with clothing that show some cleavage (or even the illusion of cleavage) to further draw attention away from the shoulder. Avoid necklines that draw the attention across your body. This includes most off-shoulder tops that show both shoulders, which is kind of a major bummer for me because I’m a huge fan of the look.

      This last one is very body dependent. If you happen to have a waistline or stomach (midriff) that you want to show off and your chest isn’t too broad, try adding crop tops into your clothing rotation. Showing skin draws attention towards your waist and to some extent your hips (and ideally away from everywhere else). A favorable waist-to-hip ratio (<.80)will also make your hip appear slightly wider by comparison. Again, this may be hit or miss, you may find a crop top making you look more like Ezekiel Elliot than your intended look.

Bottoms

      Pick bottoms that flare out. Flared and pleated skirts are staples that I use a lot. Not only do the designs/lace draw attention towards the hips, but by literally flaring out, your hips will appear wider than they actually are. As sexy as pencil skirts and those tight fitting miniskirts may be, they are not going to look flattering if it ends up making your hips super narrow. When it comes to flares, I have no shame and will go for the widest, shortest flare that I can get away with. If you can work it into the outfit, a petticoat or some kind of tutu that flares really wide is basically a cheat code here.

      For shorts, I look for items that aren’t skintight and are either on the shorter side to emphasize my legs or baggy enough to generate more volume. In addition, more designs, lace, buttons, draw strings, ruffles will help further the illusion. Remember the goal is add as much volume below the waist as possible to balance out the shoulders.

      Similarly for pants, I try to stay away from skintight clothes. Unfortunately, this does include yoga pants and tights when worn by themselves. These, especially in black will make your hips look extremely narrow. If you have to have yoga pants, I would recommend looking for brighter colored ones with support features that either lift or accentuate your butt. My go-to for pants are baggier “streetwear” style pants that are higher waisted and have lots of cargo-like pockets (which is ironic, because I really dislike baggy pants in boy mode). However, if you’re a long-time follower of mine, you’ll probably notice that I rarely ever wear clothing that goes past my thighs, so maybe take this with a grain of salt.

      While leggings are a no-no by themselves, stockings (or I guess leggings too) paired with a more voluminous bottom is fine. I don’t think stockings do anything for your hips by themselves, but I find it, especially with designs like a bow or stripes, draws attention which in turn draws attention away from everywhere else (e.g., your shoulders).

Straps

      For outfits that require you to show your shoulder, wider straps help a ton. Try to find bras or tops with wider straps that cover more of your shoulder which will make the remaining, uncovered parts of your shoulder appear narrower. If I am wearing a top with straps and a bra, I try to make sure they are positioned such that they don’t overlap to cover as much area as possible. Sometimes I even double up on the bra to get multiple straps which doesn’t make too much sense from an outfit perspective, but it’s for the illusion! Whatever you do, avoid spaghetti straps by themselves.

Accessories

      Accessories are often overlooked by crossdressers just starting out, but can make a big difference. One of my favorite techniques for making my hips look wider is literally just attaching accessories to my hip. If the event is appropriate (festival, some clubs), I like wearing a fanny pack at my 5 o’clock position to give my hips some extra width. If fanny packs aren’t appropriate, thicker, lighter colored belts also not only add width, but draw attention to the hip when worn around the hip (If you’re wearing high waisted pants or wearing belts with a dress, opt for a skinnier belt to clinch the waist). When looking for characters that I want to cosplay, this is something I take into consideration. My Quiet cosplay for example requires skintight leggings, however because it also involves a very wide tactical belt with random magazine pouches and items hanging off along with a drop leg holster, all that added width helps counteract the narrowing result from the black, skintight leggings.

      Necklaces can be used to achieve the same narrowing effect as V-necks by directing the eyes towards the center. If I find a single necklace is too small to be seen, I often layer them in conjunction with wearing a V-neck to compound the effect.

      To a lesser degree, I also use the V-shape of backpacks for the same purpose but on the back. If the setting is appropriate (e.g., more casual outings), I like incorporating mini backpacks into to my outfits. This has the bonus of not only having somewhere to store my phone and wallet (because we all know girl clothes never have useable pockets), but it also adds to the number of wider straps in my outfit as mentioned above.

      Finally, my favorite accessory of them all – chokers. Unfortunately, they don’t really affect shoulder appearance too much, but if you choose a choker that is more visually eye-catching, it will draw attention away from your shoulder.

Hair

      Your hair style or wig of choice also plays a role in how narrow your shoulders look. Similar to the concept for straps, hair that drapes over the front of your shoulders hide its width. I almost always have at least one side of my wig/hair hanging over the front. This also has the added benefit of hiding certain facial features like a strong jaw line as well. I have found hair styles that are wider (e.g., have ponytails on the side) also help in making the shoulders look narrower.

      The above image shows the curls from the wig covering up the majority of the shoulder area greatly hiding its width. You may have noticed two rather large objects within the frame of the picture as well, if so, this is an excellent callback to how cleavage draws all attention away from your shoulder. Refer to my post on breastplates if you’re interested in how this was accomplished.

Padding

      Aside from actual surgery, hip pads, butt pads, shapewear are probably the most effective method for achieving the shoulder-to-hip ratio goal. If you’re not familiar with them, they’re literally foam or silicone pads that you stick around your hip and butt to make them wider. These either come as standalone pads that you insert underneath a tight piece of clothing (usually tights) or self-supported padded shorts. Use of padding and type is highly dependent on your outfit, more specifically your choice of bottoms. I personally, like wearing a lot of “skimpy” outfits that involves showing skin which prevents me from using aggressive hip pads. Instead, I have a pair of padded shorts for shorter shorts and then a slightly longer, but more aggressively padded pair for everything else. What you want to avoid is an unnatural amount of padding that conflicts with the shape of your leg or waist. If you only have eight vertical inches of material to work with, you can’t add too much padding or else the curves will look unnatural.

      Larger hip pads are especially useful if your outfit involves a longer, skintight dress. I also know people use skin-colored hip pads underneath skin-colored tights underneath a shear bottom to achieve the semi-exposed skin look while also being able to use larger hip pads. I, however, have never tried it.

Body Posture

      Posture is a lot easier to get right in a controlled environment (e.g., pictures), but applies in person as well. Remember to stand up straight while pushing your chest outwards and your shoulders back. Aside from being better for you back, this will push your butt out, and slightly narrow your shoulders and waist.

      This applies more to when you’re posing for a picture, but slightly angle your body while simultaneously pushing out your hip on the side closest to the camera. The flatter side will be semi-hidden because it’s facing away from the camera thus giving you the wider hip look.

      Sitting down either directly on your butt or on your knees is another technique you can use when taking pictures to provide a wider hip look as it pushes all your fat and muscle in that area up and out. One of my favorite content creators, Wanderlustluca, does this a lot in her pictures. Side note, her KDA The Baddest Akali cosplay is ridiculously on point.

Cosplay vs lewd cosplay 😎🖤 pic.twitter.com/QJvjaQ084H

— Luca (@Wanderlustluca) January 18, 2021

Angles

      Angles are a great way of creating visual illusions in a controlled environment. Obviously, this won’t work anywhere other than in pictures and videos, but let’s be honest, we all spend way too much time standing in front of cameras taking pictures when we’re dressed up. Try to avoid taking pictures where your shoulders are squared directly at the camera as it makes it very easy to notice the width of your shoulders compared to your hips. Instead when you’re taking a front profile shot, slightly angle your body to one side. Incorporate side and side-rear photos into your repertoire to take advantage of not having to show both shoulders at the same time. The more perpendicular you are to the camera, the narrower your shoulders become.

      Taking pictures from a lower angle upwards can also give the illusion of a wider hip and narrower shoulders. However, this isn’t always the most flattering angle for your face. A slightly tilted floor mirror will also achieve a similar effect. Couple this with poses where you push out your hips towards the camera will do wonders for providing the illusion of wider hips. Finally, you could just avoid including your waist or hip in the shot. This provides no reference point for how wide you shoulder may be, however it will bring all the focus on your makeup, so it better be on point!

TLDR

      Broader shoulders are just one of many hurdles for crossdressers and being aware of how to manage your shoulder-to-hip ratio will go a long way in terms of improving your ability to “pass”. In general, the goal is to get as close to a shoulder-to-hip ratio of 1.0 as possible. All techniques to achieve this fall within one of three categories.

1. Physically make your hips wider.
2. Visually make your shoulders appear narrower.
3. Visually make your hips appear wider.

Physically Make your Hip Wider

• Work out glutes and quads to get your hips literally wider.
• Wear hip and butt pads to enhance the width of your hips.
• Take pictures sitting down or on your knees to push fat and muscle around your hip up and out.

Visually make your shoulders appear narrower

• DO wear darker tops. DON’T wear bright or colorful tops.
• DO wear simple, muted designs.
• DON’T wear tops with sleeves that add extra width or material around the shoulders like puff sleeves. DO wear sleeves with more material lower down the arms.
• DO wear V-necks.
• DON’T wear spaghetti straps. DO cover as much width of your shoulder with vertical lines as possible.
• DON’T slouch

Visually make your hips appear wider

• DO wear bottoms and accessories that add volume below the waist (e.g., pleated skirts, petticoats, dresses, baggier clothes, thicker belts). DON’T wear thin, skin tight bottoms.
• DO wear bottoms with complex, flowery, eye catching designs. Draw attention to your lower half.
• DO wear bottoms that feature horizontal lines.
• When taking pictures, DO push out your hips or leverage low-to-high angles to make your hips appear wider.

      A lot of this process is just trial and error and figuring out what style complements your body type the best. I have come to the sad realization many many many times that just because an outfit looks amazing on a model, doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll look good on yourself.

      If you have any questions, shoot me a DM on Instagram or Twitter. I’m not always the best at responding, but I do try my best to respond back to anyone asking for help.

Footnotes